I remember what it was like to have made good progress, and yet I was still mourning the life I felt I had lost. People tried to be nice, and tell me that I was doing great, but they just didn’t understand what it was like to be in my head.
Isn’t it awful how mean your own thoughts can be to you?
But I tried to turn that on its head. My Dad needed me as I was the only one he trusted to make important decisions about his welfare. It was my job to live up to the confidence that he had in me. When it came to my own life I found it difficult to make decisions about anything, and so left it all up to my partner James. But in effect I needed to do for Dad what James was doing for me.
And these were BIG decisions….. sorting out emergency repairs on his home, including a serious leak …..should he be in care?…. if so where was the right place for him?
I had more motivation to get these things done for him, and so those decisions were made quickly. Yes I made some mistakes along the way, but nothing that couldn’t be put right. I was proving that I was still capable when the chips were down. I just had to trust myself. It was scary and I really did question if I was doing it right. And yet I was the person who knew Dad the best, so I was certain that I was the right person to be carrying out these decisions because I understood what was important to him.
My self-esteem began to grow because I was able to see that I do still have a value. Things weren’t necessarily the same anymore, but that wasn’t THE BE ALL & THE ALL now. Sure there’s some things that I’ll probably never be as good at again, but instead I’d seen my calling…. helping others.
By serving others and making a positive difference in their lives I had found my fulfilment. I realised that few people can understand what the life of a brain injury survivor is really like, so there is something that’s both comforting and powerful in talking to someone else who’d been through it too and come out the other side.
That’s why I now coach brain injury survivors and their families through this critical phase. I’m not a doctor, so I’m not here to physically heal you and I’m not a therapist you well mentally heal you. I’m here to reignite the flame that makes you believe in yourself. I’m here to rewrite the script for your inner critic, and turn them into your inner fan.
This is your journey and I want to help you celebrate all your successes along the way so you can see how important you really are!
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