Before my brain injury I liked to think of myself as open minded. I’m sure that I was probably susceptible to some preconceived ideas, but I would listen to a well thought out debate even on those. Besides, being a woman I have been known to change my mind. All the men reading this are knowingly nodding. However, now when I’m in the moment, sometimes I can’t get past my rigid thinking. It borders on obsession…
A brain injury can give rise to some unusual behaviour.
In the first few months following my accident, I remember a weird incident between my partner, James and I, when taking out the rubbish. I’m hazy on the details, but I know I was really keen on ensuring the rubbish bag was done up tightly to avoid it spilling its contents in the bin outside. James was trying to take the bag outside, when I stopped him and was tying more knots. Suddenly his patience snapped, and he told me “That’s enough! It’s like you’re obsessed!”
Whilst I remember the feeling of needing to be diligent, I don’t recall what made me think I needed to do even more. Nevertheless, I like to think I have moved past this behaviour. But I might be just deluded. When I really think about it, I can see I do still have obsessive moments.
As much as I can be motivated to complete something, there are various reasons why it might take literally days.
Some days, with all the good intentions in the world, I still can’t get everything I planned done. Like the other day when I was going to do the ironing. My back was hurting so I decided to sit and rest it for a few moments. That plan promptly went out the window when I fell asleep. But other days I can be so finicky. Like when I’m creating images for this blog. I put in special effort in the ones for Pinterest (which are hidden on the page, to see them you have to pin the post or follow me on Pinterest.)
Sometimes I can waste hours achieving nothing because my rigid thinking stops me from seeing there’s an easier way to do whatever it is that I’m struggling with. I don’t even recognise that there might be another way. Instead I persevere with my failing method. When I walk away and come back another day, it dawns on me that there was another blindingly obvious method. Even then, rarely do it see that I could have gone with a different design. I’m too obsessed with my original idea to be able to get past it.
So next time someone tries to give you some advice and you’re get not hearing it, think of me. Whilst they might not be right, try to pause before you dismiss it out of hand entirely. Many brain injury survivors are prone to rigid thinking, and perhaps their suggestion might make more sense once you’ve had time to reflect.
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4 replies on “Stuck in rigid thinking after brain injury”
I’ve been told stubbornness is my best trait! Because it has kept me here on this earth. Which is great until it’s put up against my mothers stubbornness. Really learning to pick my battles but she will never learn! Cheers,H
Ah Mother like Daughter ?
I think we all have some rigid thinking sometimes, even without a brain injury.
It’s great to see your blog still doing well and to know that you are fighting on in spite of adversity. You are an inspiration!
Thanks Maddy, I really appreciate that ☺️