Pretty much anyone can say life is difficult to predict as none of us knows what is around the corner. I mean if I’d left 10 minutes earlier on the day of my accident I might have avoided it. And this blog would have never existed. But as I didn’t have a prophecy, this is where I am. However it’s not massive life changing events I want to talk about. It’s the little things, like planning when to do the shopping that I find my ability to complete can be so unpredictable.
How even the best laid plans can’t be relied upon.
I find it important to try to do the shopping outside of peak times. This is because like many other brain injury survivors, it can be one of the most strenuous and traumatic activities of the week. I did my best to explain the horror of supermarket shopping in 7 Executive dysfunction challenges after brain injury. By going when it’s less busy, there’s less noise and people to be overworking my brain. As my partner James works from home on a Friday, we usually try to go mid afternoon before the rush. Good plan right?
We knew what we needed, the list was ready. James was having a busy morning, so it was just a case of finding the right moment to dash off for the supermarket sweep. I was down stairs not up to much to reserve my energy for the task. I like to join him as otherwise we can feel like passing ships sometimes. It’s an activity where we are both focused on the same result, and communicate properly. As much as shopping is a hated chore to me, this proper one on one time with him means much more.
Then out of the blue, the pain hit me…
My eyes hurt so much. It wasn’t the muscles around my eyes that I was so concerned with. But it felt like my eyeballs didn’t fit anymore, as if swollen. I’d had this before, but it was a long time since my last episode so I thought it was over.
I’d never had problems with my eyes before my brain injury, so I knew this was somehow related. I mentioned previously in Double vision trouble from brain injury how my eyes have been affected. But still this episode was completely unpredictable. I knew I just had to close them and try to sleep until the pain had eased off. So when James came down I tell me he was ready, I had to tell him I wasn’t up to it. I could barely open my eyes, but in the glare of the shop lights I had absolutely no chance.
I know suddenly feeling unwell can happen to even the best of us. But it’s fair to say this happens more to survivors. The human anatomy is finely balanced with hormones, organs and various vital systems with the brain acting as the conductor. But when his timing is off, no matter how hard the orchestra tries, the melody isn’t going to be pretty.
You just can’t take anything for granted.
I was silly enough to think I was over that “phase” with my eye pain. But that was naive of me. For whilst I might not feel like I’m overworking them, who knows if my brain has decided to be a slave driver on them that day for no apparent reason. Thus my ability to participate in an activity is unpredictable. Particularly as this is just one example of the many troubles I now face.
So if the brain injury survivor in your life, who was on good form just an hour ago, cancels their plans with you, please go easy on them. Believe me, you haven’t been ditched for a better offer.
Other articles you may like:
- Are divorce settlements fair after a brain injury?
- Guest post: Kelly Ribeiro on brain injury, “Heal first, life can wait.”
- Light and Noise Sensitivity.
- Is my brain injury making me paranoid?
- Frustratingly dreadful with dates, thanks brain injury.
- TBI and PTSD isn’t limited to just war vets, it can happen to anyone
- Guest post: “Mind full of jumbles” – Brain injury survivor, Robin
5 replies on “The unpredictable life of a brain injury survivor”
I can really relate with this. My relationships suffer bcuz of lack of knowledge. Even though I share as much traumatic brain injury awareness as I can. And when I actually think a close friend understands, they really don’t.
As much as people try to comprehend what things are like for us, they are can’t imagine as it’s such a complex and traumatic experience.
I appreciate reading the why behind why sometimes plans get changed without notice. My mother-in-law has a TBI and I do my best to be empathetic even when I recognize how little I probably understand about what’s going on in her mind. I love her and desire to understand. I think the desire is mutual I know it’s hard for her to put words to it sometimes.
The fact that you are willing to try and have been doing some research says so much about you. She fortunate to have just a caring daughter-in-law, and I’m sure she appreciates your support.
“Believe me, you haven’t been ditched for a better offer.” – So true.